She’s gone.

The doctor’s words echoed through my head as I stood up from the first pew in the church. Five other black clad men made their way to the front; I was the youngest among them. Their faces were blank and their footsteps seemed practically nonexistent. I felt terribly out of place as water filled the space between my eyelids and the surface of my eye. I was just lucky it didn’t spill over.

If I die first, promise you won’t cry at my funeral.

I promised her that I wouldn’t. I would keep that promise if it killed me. The heel of my hand ran over both eyes and I wiped the salty moisture on my pants. We each took hold of the handle, three of us on each side of the black box, and lifted it onto our shoulders. Silence enveloped us as we headed down the aisle towards the door. The hearse idled outside, a black metallic omen, waiting anxiously to swallow the coffin whole, occupant and all.

She won’t wake up!

They never did figure out why. Her mother caught my eyes as we passed. She stood with her son, both dressed in traditional black, tears leaking from her eyes and streaking her pale cheeks with eyeliner. Guilt wrenched through my gut and I looked back to the area in front of me. Her husband had gone just a few years before, t-boned at a busy intersection. Now her daughter was going to join him in the ground.

Did you give her drugs? Is that why she’s gone??

They had accused me of it immediately, though I’ve been clean for three years. She had been the one to help me through, as a matter of fact. I would never have done that to her, and it’s not like she would’ve taken it if I had. She was too good for that. She was… God, she was perfect. The big guy was definitely showing off when he made her.

Will you marry me?

The mourners wept as they lowered her into the ground, into the grave beside her father's. A bleached white stone angel stood at the head of her resting place, hands cupped and outstretched, a serene smile on its childish face. It was the only one smiling. My heart caught in my throat as they set her down on the bottom of the grave. It was like the final nail in the coffin, so to speak, to tell me that she really wasn’t coming back. I could still remember looking up at her smiling face while I was down on one knee. There had been tears in her eyes…

Yes.

Three months later we would’ve been married… I stayed after everyone else had gone, save for her mother and brother, who stood on the other side of the grave. Three white roses now rested in the hands of the angel, one from each of us, her favorites. When the first drops of rain began to fall they also left, leaving me to mourn alone. I had promised not to cry today, so God made the sky cry for me.